I have taken control of Mary's computer.

Take that, Mary!

There is a button at the top that says "report abuse".

Should I be concerned?

Today, I decided to write a poem....

And then I tried to write it, and it ended up very badly.

This is why I could never be a poet. Even though, my hero is Dr Seuss.
I LOVE YOU CAT IN THE HAT!

Though, I do have a point today.

Last night, I had time travelled back to year 9... I mean, I was in a group conversation on MSN and someone mentioned my dislike of having my name used mid-conversation and it's mainly due to the context and I time travel back to year 9 when I was getting in trouble. Which, I believe happened a lot in year 9. It's so hard to recall some days.

Any way, as I tried to defend myself I mention that it is due to the authoritive voice thing and that is the context that I object to.

Then I mentioned, do you know who has a terrifying authoritive voice? Mary.
And they are all "No, no way! I don't believe it" even when I carried on with the fact that she left me a voicemail and I swear I was getting denention.

But no!
These people do not believe that Mary is evil! Let alone as some kind of authoritive voice.
I mean, I have an entire blog dedicated to damn her, well, ok, Mar(t)y McFly is also around somewhere.... She mainly reads from the background... Hi Mar(t)y McFly!

Now, would this happen to some who is all "sweet and innocent" and a third word that I forget but implies the same kind of thing? Really!
No! This is about damnation!

This is like that arc in Angel where everyone is all "woo! Jasmine!" including this except you know She's evil!
Well, I don't know if she's evil... It's kind of ambigeous... It's interesting.
But basically, there is killing people.
And the only person that knows is Fred and she goes around and try and convinces people.
Apparently, I'm all Fred now about this.
Crazy and paranoid.

Oh well...
Maybe I can use this to benefit me...

Then again, if I end up not posting ever again, I don't want to say look in Mary's direction...
but I have photographic evidence of her trying to kill me in my own bucket..

Staged you say?

Well, Damn you! AND THE MARY YOU CAME IN ON!


Just another pancake on the pile, ain't that right McFly, ain't that right?

So, 'til next time, keep on damnin'
Damn you Mary, Damn you.

Elyse


Just to say, "Damn you and the Mary you came in on" may be the greatest line I have ever written.
I don't think that bodes well for my skillz as a writer.

To Mary,

Your face.

May it be damned, along with the rest of you.

All my love,
Elyse

It's been a while

Oh wow... It's been a while since Mary got damned.

Though, in an important turn of events.
Mary got some revenge on me.

Photos to come!

So, to Mary, for trying to drown me in my own fake fountain, this I damn you for.

Damn you Mary, Damn you.

And scene.

In the spirit of all things being equal, let us now damn Mary in an overly dramatic way.

Now, first allow me to emotionally prepare for this. *deep breath*.



DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Mary.

And scene.

Deconstructing comments!

This might just become a regular segment here at Damn You Mary, Damn You... Deconstructing the comments that we get.

Today's comment comes from our very own Mar(t)y McFly. Hi McFly!

So, let's look at Mar(t)y's comment. Just as a side note, Mar(t)y is actually quite hard to type and for some reason counts as a word to my spell check and yet McFly doesn't. How odd...

Onwards we move!
To the block quote!

Sorry, I didn't mean too...
At least i gave it back to you, right?

Now, first allow me to destroy... I mean question... no comment, Maybe I should stick with destroy. Allow me to crush my lovely assistant.
Oh man, I'm totally going to get ran over with a car for this.

I hope all our viewers are sitting down right now as I reveal the biggest secret I have. My assistant, our very own Mar(t)y McFly is actually the one and same Mary of Damn You Mary, Damn You fame.
Yes, I know.
It's shocking, right?

I thought now one would ever work out our ingenious code, alas, I was wrong.

The alter ego thing is ruined. I wonder if this is how Clark Kent felt...

Oh well, let's look at the comment in seperate parts!

Sorry

Yeah you are.

I didn't mean too...

That's what they all say, this time my V, next time my kidney.
"hey Elyse, we did give you a lot of alcohol so you'd pass out. We were kind!"

I guess one of them was technically yours...

At least i gave it

Yes, you generosity is infamous! INFAMOUS!
Alternatively... Yeah, you did.

back to you

Was a terrible show. I just don't really get it.
There is also some terrible puns I'm thinking of, so I'll keep you distracted with some other terrible puns.
So I went camping on the weekend, it was in-tents.

, right?

Left.


I'm not sure who wins this round Mary, but your lack of commitment to your alter ego is disheartening.
Or maybe I should be asleep and not on the internet.
Damn replies! Damn you Mary! DAMN YOU!

I think next time I should write a reply on one of McFly's posts... That was a hint, Mar(t)y. Subtle, huh?
And then deconstruct my own comment.

Could be fun.

Do you know what could also be fun?
Damning Mary.

'til next time.

Elyse

And Scene.

So, I was hangin' out with our namesake here at "Damn You Mary, Damn You", hey Mary.. What's up?

And well, do you know what ended up happening?
She left with my two bottles of V... Who does that?
And I'm choosing to ignore that she took my glasses and sunglasses.. but only because I had a spare pair of sunglasses in my bag.
Which is just odd in itself, but that's not the point.

She took my V!
Seriously man, that's not cool.

That's the type of thing that leads to damnation.

I mean I could have needed that to be able to have enough caffiene that I'll eventually be able to slow time! TO SLOW TIME!
And why does Mary take it?
Because she likes the colour green dammit!

I may have made that last part up, but still...
She is a theif! A THEIF! The stealer of both truth and my possestions.. .

I just realised I didn't call her a liar because that's not cool, but the line "stealer of both truth and possessions" is fucking gold! Well, not actually fucking gold, because that would be difficult.

It's because of things like this we have this forum, to spread all our Mary bitching needs.

Now, Mary, if you ever read this, just remember, if you want to steal my V all you have to do is challenge me to a fight to the death. You know I'll say yes.

Following on from that statement, if Mary does read this and I then mysteriously go missing.. Just putting it out there... Just putting it out there.

And on that note...

RUN!

What will happen on the day when Mary decides she's been damned enough and seeks revenge?

Then where will this all stand?

Some days I wish I was William Shatner...

Damn... you... Mar...y.

And scene.

Spring has Sprung on Damnation!

I hate the expression "Spring has sprung".
That provides the perfect segue into "and damn, I hate Mary". That's not how I roll. I don't hate. I just damn.

So, in this epic Spring season that we have entered into... like a week ago (whatevs)...
Damn you Mary, Damn you!

Comments!

In all my damnation of Mary (Damn you Mary, Damn you) and in my discussions of damnation with out very own Mar(t)y McFly, I have been waiting for someone to come along and defend her.

While I was doing something, I don't even remember what, it might have been scheduling a meeting to discuss matters of great urgency such as laser tag or my aquisation of a Jedi Robe, when I discovered that some one HAD commented!

MORE THAN ONCE! An entire three times!
I was overly excited about this.
I don't know who they are, so they might be a random defending Mary, which makes me very proud! And amused that none of her friends will come to her aid.

Oh, poor Mary.

Well, the first comments I believe are also trying to make fun of me, but this poster has won my heart by using dictionary.com as a source. You could be the devil, but damn, that makes you awesome.

Just because one can, in more than welcome fact, 'damn' Mary, can you justify calling the action of her stepping up to the role of leader of a group - in which any given member is not being forced against their will - a tyranny?
According to Dictionary.com, tyranny can be defined as: arbitrary or unrestrained exercise of power; despotic abuse of authority.
Is the position that Mary is about to take so great that it can be said to give her 'unrestrained exercise of power'? She hasn't even stepped up yet. How can you say that she will be a despotic abuser of her authority?
I'm all for clever rhetoric being used to hide true meaning, but really, think about what you are saying...

Now, I'm not sure which point to take first, so I'll do as I tradionally do and work backwards.

but really, think about what you are saying

You have read my posts, right?
Come on man, I clearly don't think about what I'm saying.

I'm all for clever rhetoric being used to hide true meaning

I'm flattered that you would call my writing "clever rhetoric" but I kind of think you are drunk.
I shouldn't say that to people I don't know, should I?
Same thing happened this morning at the bus stop.

There is no true meaning, whether or not this reflects my beliefs on the matter of truth is a different story.
If you'd like to know more, I take requests in my ramblings.

How can you say that she will be a despotic abuser of her authority?

Is this a literal question or a metaphorical question?
Because taken literally, I can say it because I have the power of speech which allows me to use a combination of oxgen and vocal chords to provide such speech. I'll have to look up a more biological satificatory reason if you'd like more information.
Metaphorically- I have the FREEDOM of Speech... or maybe I don't, what country does that belong to?
Basically, it comes down to because I can. It's whether I find the statement to actually be reflective of my actual beliefs that remain in question.

Plus, have you met Mary? Totally a despotic abuser of authority.
The blackmail that she has over me is numerous. So numerous.
You'd think writing this blog would give me some leway or you know, do something. No, no it doesn't.
All about abusing the authority.

She hasn't even stepped up yet

Now she has!

Is the position that Mary is about to take so great that it can be said to give her 'unrestrained exercise of power'?

Depends how well her puppets dance for her.

According to Dictionary.com, tyranny can be defined as: arbitrary or unrestrained exercise of power; despotic abuse of authority.

I do love a good Dictionary.com quote.
I sometimes prefer wiki myself.
One who runs a Tyranny, is a tyrannt... "In modern usage, the word "tyrant" carries connotations of a harsh and cruel ruler who places his or her own interests or the interests of a small oligarchy over the best interests of the general population"

So the Tyranny of Mary would imply that she is going to be a harsh and cruel ruler.
Yes, I can see it.
She is a harsh ruler, she stepped up to the plate as of last Thursday. There was blood shed. Alright, there wasn't.
But still, there was harshness and that's enough for me to call her a Tyrannt or atleast in the adjective, as opposed to the noun.

Just because one can, in more than welcome fact, 'damn' Mary, can you justify calling the action of her stepping up to the role of leader of a group - in which any given member is not being forced against their will - a tyranny?

You'll be surprised at what I can justify.


Man, that was fun!
Block quotes are awesome!
I don't think I took too many quotes out of context, but next time I'll work on it.

'til next time,
Enjoy all your Mary Bitching needs...

Elyse

Uni Damning

Damn you Mary.

You think you can just lay around on your day off and not do any uni work until the evening of your day off, when uni is co-incidentally the next day.

Also, you can't just leave an assessment to the night before, albeit a 250 word major essay abstract, where you have to express what you are going to write about in your major essay, which no doubt, you will be doing/finishing the night before its due!

Damn you, Mary....you're going to have to get a hell-of-a-lot better at this game, because at the moment, you suck, and aren't going anywhere!

True Story.

And ps - actually do some uni work, rather than blogging!!!

And scene

Hi,

I'm Elyse and it's been 5 days since I last Damned Mary.
It started off as an offhand comment and then it grew it something blog related...

And now... Well, I guess it didn't go anywhere from that.

Oh well, when in doubt.

Damn you Mary, Damn you.

Elyse

Damning Damnation

Just out of curiousity, at what point should I give Mary the intervention about her obvious lack of self esteem?

Or atleast give her a talk about the dangers of giving into peer pressure.
Especially if I am the peer in question.

I wonder if I can start a poll about this topic...
That might be interesting.

We are about to enter a new phase in our lives, the tyranny of Mary. I feel this will be the best time to not only shamelessly self promote this website, but also to continue with some quality damning of Mary.

Because a day without damning of Mary, is like a day without sun! A night without dark! A game of cards without a bad pun! I ran out of things to say with that way too easily.
How worrying, which leads me to think of the only thing I can do.

Damn you Mary, Damn you.


And scene. *bows*

Damn with an extra side of damn

Apparently to continue to be  a contributor to this blog, I need to post/bitch/damn more...so........

DAMN YOU MARY! 

See what happens when you watch the cricket at 12am on Sunday night...Australia lose!

So i'm damning you for damning  the Australian cricket team

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN

And scene

Has anyone else noted that I have a partner in crime on this one, who isn't holding you there partnering.

Man, I need to find better assistants.

Damn you Mary, Damn you!

POST DAMN YOU POST!

Why won't you damn yourself?

Or verify a low self esteem! The internet awaits!

I should sleep more... Damn you mary, Damn you...

And scene.

It's been a little while...

Damn you Mary, Damn you.

And now for something a little different...

Now, I'm all for cursing Mary, my assistant Mar(t)y McFly is also all for cursing Mary.
Basically, we are so much for cursing Mary and Mary's damnation, we have a blog about it.

But what does it really mean?

And this is where I turn to my good friend Wikipedia...

"Damnation" is the concept of condemnation by God such that results in a being's punishment. (Mark 3:29)

The word "damn" is widely used as a moderate profanity. With the God Damn being much more offensive, if you are American. They censor out the God part, which lead to the Firefly creation of Gorran or something, I don't remember. Firefly is overrated. That's right. I said it. Firefly is over rated! Maybe it's Gorram... I'm going to have to Google this. Excuse me for a moment.

Ok, I'm back, Google informs me it is "Goram" and I shall remember this from now on as "GO! Ram!" If I'm feeling joyful at the time it will become "Go Go Ram, you know what they say". For some nerdish fake swearing here it is "Goram motherfrakkers".

Sorry, where was I before my nerdish ways took over?

oh, damnation.
It's basically condemnation by either people or God. Originally it came from the God fearers where the thing they generally fear is well damnation and then it entered into the vernacular to just people for the condemnation of other things, such as "a damning report".

Once again, thank you Wikipedia for expanding my knowledge.

I am going to use it as the mild profanity, because any thing less mild goes into a whole different territory and I'm not for one with dealing with those complaints and lewd comments.
Plus, I want to keep the friendly to the kids.

One must keep in mind the only regular reader of this I know of is only 13.

I need to find older friends...
Or become a creepier old friend.

I'll work on it.

In the mean time. Hey Mary! Just go Damn your self!
Or Dam yourself!

And scene.

This is coming at ya from Mary's ipod with my internet

It's hard to use. I bet not for Mary and her little hands.
Damn. You damn you to a hot underground place where the devil lives.

And scene.

Some days you just need to end it with a quality round of curses.


Curse. Curse. Curse.

I could have used swear words too, then it would be a pun. ha.


And Scene.

The Newest Addition

Hello,

My name is Elyse, I'm the creator of this blog.

And somewhere I have an assistant, wave to my assistant.

Now, in our lives we all have a Mary, that person that we always feel a need to bitch about.

In my case, it is literal.
Thus, Mary, she should be damned.

Why this time?

She got her name wrong when making her account to become my assistant.

What the hell Mary?

It's Mar(t)y McFly! And you know it!
Why back in my day, people knew their own names!

Gosh darnit...

Oh well, Mary, you win this round but Damn you. Damn you to hell...

til another day.
I'm Elyse, but you may call me Doc or Captain, depending where you alliance lay.





And Scene.
*bows*

Day 1

OMG, You know that chick Mary

God I hate her!

She thinks she's all that just because she goes to Macquarie!

Damn you Mary, damn you!

And scene

(c) 2009 a Mary Egan Production

The first post

ummm...

Curses to you Mary...
Curses!

And scene.